We all enjoy highly polished, over produced pop music. Sanitised beyond recognition, safe and pedestrian without even a hint of malice. That goes without saying. But what happens if you wake up one morning and realise you’re having a mental breakdown brought on by your prolonged exposure to vapid, mainstream shite? Fear not, for help is at hand.

Working alongside skilled professionals in the field of Psychiatric Therapy, Thee Dirt Byrds, have succeeded in creating an angst ridden soundscape so volatile it has actually been proven* to reverse the pathological effects of One Direction. (* in 9 out of 10 laboratory mice). The breakthrough comes after extensive research into the therapeutic effects of listening to gut-wrenching punk, performed at a volume on the very threshold of human tolerance.

Results from earlier EPs have been favourable, and now with their latest treatment plan, Thee Dirt Byrds are being heralded as one of the leading specialists in this exciting new field of medicine; due in part to their continued collaboration with Paul Cready, an expert in visual trauma-based concept art.

If you or any of your loved ones are experiencing symptoms from having listened to banal pop wank (nausea, diarrhea, genocidal tendencies or erectile dysfunction) you are advised to contact your GP immediately who can prescribe a course from Thee Dirt Byrds discography. Depending on the severity of the case, most patients notice a marked improvement in their taste in music within 1-2 weeks.

 

In extreme cases subjects may be advised to attend specialist seminars hosted by Thee Dirt Birds, wherein attendees are encouraged to jump around hysterically and yell at the top of lungs while the sonic treatment is administered. For details of upcoming events please contact Thee Dirt Byrds on Facebook.